Self Inserting Dragon Lord
by DragonLord RyuKizoku
Summary: I was just a regular guy. Sure, I enjoyed My Little Pony, but I never though I would be a part of it! This is the story of what happened during my time in Equestira. (A/N: My first fanfic, so plz read it. Rated M for language and sexual reference. NO LEMONS!)
1. Chapter 1: Dragon Lord goes to Equestria

It was about 12:30 a.m. I snuck out of my room as quietly as possible to see if everyone else was asleep yet. Thankfully, they were. Good. That meant I could finally watch some more MLP. 'Ugh, why is keeping this a secret so hard!' Well, actually, it's not much of a secret anymore. My best friend Adam (doubling as the brony who managed to get me into the ranks) already knows, along with one of my other friends, someone who I'm not even sure why I thought they were a friend in the first place, and my mom. Anyway, I got on my laptop (a complete piece of shit as far as laptops go) and went to MysteriousBrony's channel on Dailymotion and pulled up episode 24 of season 1. Trying to keep my… bronyness (?) to myself was such a pain. I practically never got a chance to watch the show.

A few hours later, I was watching one of the season 2 episodes, and I guess I feel asleep. When I woke up, I noticed two things. One, I was in a forest. Two, it looked like something out of a… cartoon. 'Oh no. No no no no no no no. This can't be happening; I absolutely _have_ _to_ be dreaming. Except… I never think that in a dream. ' I sat up, and what do I see in front of me? My shitty laptop, my DSi, the chargers for both, and my bamboo staff (yeah, I'm that nerdy), and most surprisingly, the Xbox, all its games, all 4 controllers, and the cords for it. The only problem: no TV. 'Okay, what the hell is going on. This place looks like the goddamn Everfree Forest, and I've got literally everything I need to not be bored in life right in front of me.' I turn around to leave, unfortunately having no way to carry all my stuff, and instantly face palm. Right in front of me is a wagon. A cartoony one. Coincidentally big enough to carry all my stuff. As soon as I get over the fact that there is _absolutely no fucking way this is possible. _I put my stuff in the wagon, and drag it behind me until I see a cottage. As to be expected, it looked cartoony, and had a cartoony whatever the fuck you call that place where you keep your chickens, and of course, cartoony chickens walking around. 'Welp, that confirms it. Dream or not, I'm in fucking Equestria.' Sighing loudly, I walk up to the door and knock. When there is no _audible_ reply, I knock again. This time, I think I hear something. Assuming it was the owner asking me to wait, I do so. After about a minute, I see exactly what I expected to: a shy pegasus by the name of Fluttershy. However, regardless of the fact that I expected it, I instantly faint right then and there.

This time when I wake up, I'm in her cottage on the couch. I don't bother asking how I got on the couch, but I do decide to see if the… pony… that helped me is here still, or if she went to go tell her friends that some strange creature showed up at her house. "Fluttershy, you still here?" And then I realize I just fucked up. She never told me her name. Luckily, it turns out she isn't home, so I just stand up and look around. Ten or fifteen minutes later, who should show up but Fluttershy? Followed by Rainbow Dash… please don't tell me the fast flying pony is gonna attack me. I close my eyes and raise my arms, only to hear the pony in question laugh. "Dude, what's your problem, not scared of a pony, are you?" I lower my arms and open my eyes to see Rainbow Dash flying in front of me. To be honest, I had only assumed she would attack because of the multitude of HIE fanfics I've read where she does just that the first time she sees said human. "Well, I just thought for some reason you were going to attack me, Rainbow Da-" I instantly cover my mouth, a vain effort, as she narrows her eyes at me once the words come out of my mouth. "How do you know my name? Are you a spy or something?" Oh, goody, something that did happen in one of those fanfics. "No, I just happen to be a fan of yours. Hehe, heh…" One look at her face tells me she doesn't buy it. Well, at least until a giant smile appears and she exclaims, "Oh my gosh, I have fans?!" I would answer that, but well, I don't wanna tell her she is a character from a show for little kids where I come from, not yet at least. "Yeah, you're the fastest pony I've ever seen." Suddenly her excitement comes to an end, and the question I'd been dreading comes from her mouth. "Speaking of which, what are you? You don't look like anypony I've ever seen" I sweatdrop at this, and nervously reply. "I'm a human, actually." "A human? Hold on, there's someone you need to talk to." At this, I just sit there, dumbfounded that they even have heard of humans before. When I finally manage to get over this fact, I ask the one question that has been bothering me the whole time. "Before we do that, there's something I need to know. Do you guys have electricity around here? I was looking around earlier and I didn't see any outlets." Rainbow then laughs at me. "Of course we have electricity, dummy!" Okay, there's electricity, that's nice. But even more important, "What about internet?" Rainbow just stares at me for a moment. "Duh, how else are we supposed to entertain ourselves?"

Maybe ten minutes later, I find myself talking to a pony who claims to have been human once, and can't help but ask a million questions about what Earth is like nowadays which turns out to be exactly the same as when he left. Eventually, the former human stops asking questions, and his eyes pop wide open. "Oh my, I forgot to introduce myself! My human name was John Whittaker, but I go by Otaku Lord now." As he says this, he uses one of his forelegs to point out his cutie mark, which is a smiley face with glasses and a crown. "Okay, my turn to ask a question now. I know there is electricity and internet here, but can I go to websites that exist back on Earth? I really don't wanna have to give up the biggest part of my day to day life." Somehow, he finds this funny, and nearly laughs his head off. "No shit you can." "Well, that almost explains why almost all my stuff from back on Earth came with me." Otaku jumps slightly at this. "Whatever you do, don't watch the show in front of them. They're barely at episode 7 right now. Can't have anyone knowing the future, can we?"


	2. Chapter 2: Dragon Lord at the Library

"Well, that almost explains why almost all my stuff from back on Earth came with me." Otaku jumps slightly at this. "Whatever you do, don't watch the show in front of them. They're barely at episode 7 right now. Can't have anyone knowing the future, can we?"

A whole day had passed since I woke up in Equestria, and I had some questions to ask. Most of them were for Otaku, but I did have a few for the local librarian. I had slept at Fluttershy's place because, well, I didn't exactly have my own house in Ponyville. One of my questions for Twilight involved just that, though the others involved some things I had read in some fanfics and desperately needed to know if they were true or not, as I wanted to just what exactly I would have to deal with while I was here.

After asking Fluttershy to take me over to the library so I could try and learn more about Equestria, we left, and nearly 7 minutes later, there we were. The gigantic tree that served as a library for all of Ponyville, and doubled as a house for a certain purple unicorn. Luckily, Fluttershy had told me about her friend along the way, so I wouldn't have to worry about saying her name while I was there. I walked up to the door and just as I was about to knock, had the door slam into my face, courtesy of Spike. "What the hell, Spike, be more careful opening doors!" 'Wait, shit, I just said another name I shouldn't know yet! Shit shit shit! Please don't notice, please don't notice, please don't no-' "Hehe, sorry. Wait, are you new to town?" I sit there, dumbfounded, wondering how the fuck he didn't call me on my fuck-up. "Yeah, I guess I am. Why do you a-" I'm cut off as he drags me inside the door. "Sorry about that, I just don't think you would want Pinkie throwing you a party yet. Anyway, what are you here for?" Somewhat baffled by the fact he hasn't question what I am yet, I respond. "I was hoping I could talk to Twilight for a while; ask a few questions about Equestria and such." Suddenly it hits him. "Whoa, I must be blind or something. What are you exactly?" "I'm a human, and my name is Joseph by the way. Now, since I don't like to repeat myself, how about you tell Twilight that, since I want to talk to her anyway."

Once Twilight comes down from wherever she was up there, I ask Spike to leave, and start my questioning. "As you may have guessed, I'm not from Equestria. I come from a world called Earth. So, for my first question: Where could I get a house? I'd rather not stay at Fluttershy's place all the time." "Well, there is a house for sale down the road from the Carousel Boutique. You would need to talk to Mayor Mare about buying it though." I thought about this for a moment. Living next to Rarity's shop would be wonderful, seeing as I needed more clothes soon. For some reason, whatever it was that had given me all my electronics had failed to bring my trunk (I don't use my dresser, I just use a trunk I got for going to camp this past summer). "That's okay; it shouldn't be too much of a problem. Now, for my next question: Are most of the ponies around here sluts?" To say the least, her reaction was priceless. "Wh-why do you want to know something l-like that?" I just sat there, concentrating on not bursting out with near insane laughter. Once I felt like I could open my mouth safely, I started to answer, only to see that I had been wrong "We- hahahahaha… I'm sorry, that was just too funny. You should've seen your face! I didn't think someone who is freaking purple could turn so damn red. Okay, anyway, to answer your question, I've read from… various… sources that say that quite a few Equestrian citizens are." I left out the tiny detail that her and her friends made up a large part of those citizens. Face still red, she replies. "Well, while some ponies are quite… fond… of those activities, no, most ponies aren't." I just couldn't resist. I had to ask the other question. "Do you have a dick? And a special tea you drink to hide it?" Oh my fucking god, her face! I thought she had turned red before, but _damn_, was I wrong. She looked like a fire truck, for crying out loud! Then I heard her reply, and nearly fainted again. "H-how did you kn-know about th-that?" "WHAT THE FUCK, I WAS JUST JOKING! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!" As I said this, I stood up and noped the fuck out of there. The last thing I needed was an actual futa, pony or otherwise. I had nothing against her personally, but I am straight, dammit.

A/N: Yep, I made a reference to Twilight's Misadventures. I thought it was perfect, since I wanted to end this chapter with something completely hilarious. Anyway, post a review and tell me what you think.


	3. Chapter 3: Dragon Lord meets a monkey

"WHAT THE FUCK, I WAS JUST JOKING! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!" As I said this, I stood up and noped the fuck out of there. The last thing I needed was an actual futa, pony or otherwise. I had nothing against her personally, but I am straight, dammit.

Wow. I guess I ran out of there pretty fast, because a few moments later I had Rainbow right beside me, with a huge smile on her face. "Hey, you can actually move pretty fast. Wouldn't stand a chance against me in a race, though." Really, was that supposed to be a challenge or something? "Yeah, probably not. Anyway, please tell me Twilight doesn't really have a dick." At this, Rainbow just flew off, saying: "Talk to you later, bye!" 'Oh. Hell. No. That pretty much confirmed it. Oh my fucking god, she really does have a d-' My train of thought was quite abruptly cut off via me running into a pink pony. I look up, and this is what I see: a pink fucking pony just staring at me. Then she jumps in the air with one loud gasp, and runs off, runs off, runs off. (A/N: MAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NEH NEH NAH, MAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NEH NEH NAH) 'Welp, I guess a party would work to get my mind off things, and it was bound to happen eventually anyway.' I stand up and try to fan away the Pinkie-shaped cloud with my hand. Once I finally succeed, who should happen to be on the other side but Otaku! Major coincidence, seeing as I had been going to talk to him after I calmed down. 'Speaking of which, have I calmed down? Eh, doesn't really matter.' "So, Otaku, I have some _questions_ for you." Wow, that's surprising. He caught my meaning pretty much instantly, by the look on his face.

So, somewhere close to 10 minutes later, we are walking up to a house with some Japanese writing on it that I don't understand. Otaku chooses now to finally speak. "This is my place, in case you couldn't guess. Let's go inside so we can _talk._" Yeah, he had understood my meaning earlier. We walk up to the door, which flies open as soon as we reach it. Thankfully, it opens inwardly. Then I take a look at who- no, I should probably say what- opened the door. It was a _monkey _for crying out loud! Wearing a fucking bowtie, no less!

Okay, apparently the monkey could talk, was named Mr. Monkey (so much thought into the name, am I right?), and had arrived here pretty much the same, unidentified way Otaku had. 'You know what, I think it's about time I learn what way that is.' "Hey, Otaku, speaking of how you got here, could I have some details on that, please?" He winced slightly at this. "Well, I kind of lied to you about something. I said I used to be a human, but that's only half true. This version of me was never a human, but I actually am one." In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" "Okay, maybe I should start from the beginning. Not too long ago, I was nothing but a human. Then I decided one day to draw myself as a pony. The result? My consciousness was split between Earth and Equestria. I'm still not entirely sure how it works, but basically anytime I draw myself as a character from a game or show, the drawing becomes an extension of me in the world of that game or show. Anyway, a few days after I showed up here, one of my friends asked the Earth version of me to draw a picture of him as a monkey with a bowtie. Don't ask me why, I don't know myself. Back to what I was saying, when I drew the picture, I couldn't help but think of Equestria, since half of me _was_ actually there at the time. Luckily, even though they both act and think similarly, this one isn't connected to the Earth one at all. Doesn't even have his memories, thank god. Would've been pretty hard to explain why he was a monkey all of a sudden."

I think about this for a moment. "Well, that explains pretty much everything except why you asked me all those questions about what Earth was like these days." "Well, I couldn't really be sure that you weren't from 20 years ahead of me or something, seeing as I have no clue who you are." Wow. Whoever said words don't hurt lied. Come on, I'm someone who is trying to become famous, and here's someone who says he's never heard of me. Not much of a confidence booster. If I had an ego, it would have died right then and there. Regaining my composure, I ask: "So, Mr. Monkey, what do you do around here?" I am pretty much immediately sorry I asked. "Well, I am a cook, but when I'm not doing that, I am servicing Otaku's horse dick." No less than a second later, both me and Otaku scream: "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!" However, the difference is Otaku continues after that. "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SAY STUFF LIKE THAT? YOU KNOW IM STRAIGHT, SO WHY?!" Mr. Monkey is just rolling on the floor, laughing his little monkey head off. "HAHAHAHAHA, I'm sorry, that was just too funny. Okay, anyway, in case you didn't guess, I'm a bit of a troll." Finally realizing what he said earlier was a joke, I respond. "Yeah, I think I noticed."

A/N: hey, all you fuckheads! I'll post the next chapter if/when I get my first review, so please do so if you want to see more! And if not, you can just, you know, ignore me. But anyway! There is a poll on my profile regarding whether or not John Whittaker (Otaku Lord, as he is called in this fanfic) should appear in other fanfics I write. If I actually decide to do so that is. I think I will. Probably. Maybe.


	4. Chapter 4: Dragon Lord gets a job

A/N: YAY! I got my first review! It's not very satisfying though, seeing as it was a friend of mine that I gave the link to who wrote it. Okay, now for the portion where I respond to the reviews!

matt miller 142240: Don't worry. Not only will I attempt to make the chapters longer from here on out, but they won't be posted as often. My brain needs time to rest.

Ok, now! On to the story!

Mr. Monkey is just rolling on the floor, laughing his little monkey head off. "HAHAHAHAHA, I'm sorry, that was just too funny. Okay, anyway, in case you didn't guess, I'm a bit of a troll." Finally realizing what he said earlier was a joke, I respond. "Yeah, I think I noticed."

Anyway, now that that bit of awkwardness was over, I had a _very_ important question for Otaku. "Hey, Otaku, remember how you said anything you draw shows up in the world you are thinking of at the time?" He contemplates this for a moment. "Well, I never said that exactly, but it probably does work like that. Why do you ask?" A smile spreads across my face. "I would like a pet dragon. Not one like Spike, a cool one that is also small enough to sit on my shoulder. On top of that, there is a certain sword I came up with not long ago I would love to have." From the look on his face, he very much likes the idea, though I have no clue why. "Just tell me three colors you want the dragon to have and describe the sword to me." Ooh, I'm gonna like this. "As for some colors for the dragon to have, those can be red, gold, and black. As for the sword, it needs to be made of solid gold, have the blade shaped like an eagle's wing, and be able to transform into an axe and a mounted minigun. If you don't mind waiting a while, I can draw up a rough sketch of what the axe and gun need to look like." One look at his face tells me he is thinking hard. "Well, while the transforming bit might be hard to figure out, I could have it ready by tomorrow at most. Anything else?" I think for a moment before replying: "Nope, I'm good."

One hour later, I'm talking to Mayor Mare, asking about the house Twilight mentioned."Yes, that house is for sale, for 200 bits." Shit. I forgot that the currency is different in Equestria. Not that it would've mattered, I only had a 5 in my pocket anyway. "Um, speaking of which, I kinda don't have any, so do you know somewhere I could work to get some?" 'I swear, if she says Sweet Apple Acres, I will strangle someone.' "Well, the Cakes did mention that they could use a hoof over at Sugarcube Corner. Why don't you go ask them?" Well, it's _almost_ original. Though I did read a few fanfics where the OC decided to work at Sugarcube Corner. 'Speaking of which, it's pretty strange how so much stuff from the fanfics I've read actually happens to be in Equestria. Eh, fuck it, I'll just end up melting my brain trying to work that out.'

That night, I decided to go visit Sugarcube Corner to ask about a job. Once I am there, I notice the lights are off. Thinking I might have come just a little too late, I knock on the door. Just when I am about to walk off, the door is opened by a blue pony I forget the name of. "Sorry for taking so long, I was just upstairs. My name's Cup Cake. What can I help you with?" Yes, Cup Cake, that was it! "Um, I'm new in town and I heard you needed some help around here, so I was wondering if I could get a job." Something about her expression changes at that, though I can't quite place it "Why, of course you can, just follow me." At this, she walks inside. I follow her, wondering why the lights are still off, when I hear a great many voices scream: "SURPRISE!" I involuntarily jump back, only to have Pinkie run up to me and start talking at nearly a million words a minute. "HeywereyousurprisedIbetyouweresurpisedbecauseyouactedlikeyouweresurprisedandwhat'sthisIhearaboutyouwantingajobhereohmygoshthatmeanswewouldworktogetherheywhatareyouexactly?" Giving myself a moment to try and process what she just said, I reply. "I'm a human, and yes, I am going to see about working here." As I say this, her smile grows wider, nearly going around to the back of her head. "Okie doki loki." She bounces away, and I resist the urge to flip the table that sits just a few feet away. Well, I try to at least. Luckily, the table seems to be bolted to the floor, keeping me from wasting all the sweets that are on it.

As the party went on, I met the rest of the Mane 6 (just saying, I won't be doing Applejack's accent, it's hard enough to write a good story as it is), and actually had a pretty good time, seeing as I had already been pretty tired. I eventually managed to find Otaku among the crowd, and asked how the drawings were going. "See for yourself." As he said this, a dragon flew out from behind him and landed on my shoulder. "I suggest you name him, since he is _your_ dragon." I think for a while, and then say: "How about Zarthig?" The dragon on my shoulder nods at this, seemingly very happy with the name. "Your sword is going to take a little longer than I thought, but it should be ready soon. Just come over by my place tomorrow when you have the time."

At just about 9 am the next day, I leave Fluttershy's with Zarthig perched on my shoulder and my bamboo staff in hand, and go to work. However, when I get there, I see that there are already quite a few people there, ordering some of the sweets from the menu. Mostly donuts though. "Where have you been, we opened an hour ago. Wait, is that a dragon?" Oddly enough, I wince and chuckle at the same time. "Sorry, I didn't know. I'm used to going to work at 9, so I guess I just assumed that's what time I needed to be here. And to answer your question, yes, Zarthig here is a dragon." 'Just don't ask where I got him please.' "Well, anyway, Pinkie could use some help baking some more donuts. We never seem to have enough by the time we open."

Eight hours later, I was done for the day and on my way to Otaku's place. Upon arriving, I notice some moaning sounds coming from upstairs, and am about to leave with the intention of coming back later when Otaku comes out the door. "Wait, if you're out here, then that means…" Noticing me, Otaku replies. "Yes, that would be Mr. Monkey. He asked me if I could draw up a monkey slut for him, and well, I'll let you take a guess as to whether or not he approved." "Wait, seriously? He pretty much accused you of being gay, and you give him a slut anyway?" He chuckles slightly at this. "Oh, don't worry, I got him back. You see, at first when he asked, I drew a gay, male monkey for him. Let's just say he didn't find it funny." "Wait, he isn't gay?" "No, he's straight, he just jokes like that sometimes. Seriously though, I would've thought you already figured that out once I mentioned the monkey slut." After a moment, I reply. "Well, not all sluts are female."

A/N: Well, I know I said I would try to make them longer, but I've run completely dry on ideas already. If you have an idea I could use, or just an opinion about the story so far, please review! It would be much appreciated! Till next time. SWEG!


	5. Chapter 5: The Plot Thickens!

A/N: I've noticed a lack of reviews coming from anyone but matt miller 142240. I don't know if it is because he is the only one reading it, or if it's because no one else wants to take that painstakingly long _one minute _to write a review for me. I need to know that there actually are some people reading this, or if I can just stop writing it. Today is 10/20/14, so I say I should have at least 5 reviews from other people by 10/25/14. If not, I might just give up the story. Anyway, on to where I respond to the reviews!

matt miller 142240: Yes, I had to do that. I couldn't just let Mr. Monkey's little joke go unpunished, could I? Don't worry, there is a reason I do everything, so just wait and see what happens with him from here on out. Anyway, don't you think you're a little too obsessed with Mr. Monkey? He is only a minor character (for now).

ON TO THE STORY!

"Wait, he isn't gay?" "No, he's straight, he just jokes like that sometimes. Seriously though, I would've thought you already figured that out once I mentioned the monkey slut." After a moment, I reply. "Well, not all sluts are female."

Otaku thinks for a moment, and replies. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Anyway, come with me. I was just leaving to go get your sword." "Whoa whoa, go _get_ my sword? You mean stuff you draw doesn't just appear right in front of you?" He shakes his head, saying: "No, I have to go and get it. Oddly enough, it appears just inside the Everfree forest, though sometimes it's deeper in. Don't worry though, until I actually touch something, it might as well be made of air." I consider the possibilities of this, and am so busy thinking I barely notice when we reach the forest. "Joseph, are you gonna stop daydreaming, or are you going to run into that tree?" Apparently, my feet choose the latter of the two options. "OW, WHAT THE HELL?! WHY DIDN"T YOU WARN ME?!" He laughs at this. "Actually, I did warn you, you just were too lost in thought to hear me."Grumbling and rubbing my more than likely soon to be bruised forehead, I follow him into the dense collection of trees that is Everfree forest.

About two minutes later, we find it. My sword is just sitting there, the blade jammed several inches into the ground. Otaku walks up to it, and it is covered in the pale red aura that is his magic as he floats it over to me. (A/N: Sorry I never described him before, but he is a pale red unicorn with a white and green streaked mane) I reach for it, and once my hand is on it, he releases his hold on it. Surprisingly, I could handle its weight, despite the fact I needed two hands to pick up a 50lb weight back home. "How much does this sword weigh?" As, I said this, I swung the sword a few times, trying to get a feel for it. "I'd say somewhere close to 35lbs, seeing as that's the weight I had in mind as I was drawing it. How about you try out that transforming feature?" A wicked smile spreads across my face, and I place both hands on the handle of the sword. Suddenly, I spread both hands apart, and with a dim, golden glow, I am holding an axe. "Oh, this is gonna be fun." "Just don't go killing random Equestrian citizens with it, now." I bring my hands together along the handle, and as the glow from my weapon fades, I am holding the sword again.

At work the next day, saying we had our hands full would be an understatement. All of Ponyville must be here, even the ponies who don't like sweets! Apparently, I became a celebrity here overnight, because a good portion of the ponies in line can't take their eyes off me. I don't know if it was because I was a human, had a pet dragon, or the gold sword, but I enjoyed the attention regardless. I had always wanted people I had never so much as seen before know who I am, and I guess my wish finally came true. There was only one problem: All these people showing up were making me work three times as hard just _helping_ make enough sweets for everyone! That's when I noticed something. I should be exhausted by now, but I feel just fine. 'Eh, fuck it, I'll question logic later, I've got work to do.'

By the end of the day, turns out we had raked in about 600 bits. Considering the fact that we barely made 120 bits yesterday, I would say we did pretty well. Of course, my pay was only a fraction of this. But, even with my pay only being a small portion of what had been made the past two days, I still have made 180 bits so far. 'Wow, I didn't realize it was so easy to make money in Equestria. Hey, I almost have enough for that house!' "Um, Cup Cake, do you think I might be able to have just 20 bits more? I don't mind if you take it out of tomorrow's pay, I just need it to buy a house." "Of course you can, 20 bits won't make much of a difference with today's haul!" she hoofed (?) me the 20 bits I had asked for, and I went on my way, pausing for only a moment to grab my bamboo staff from right beside the door.

A little bit later that day, I was once again talking to Mayor Mare, this time actually having the money to buy the house. "So, I have the 200 bits, do you think I could go ahead and buy it?" "Of course you can, but one thing first. I want the D." I jump a bit at this. "WHAT?!" "What?" Wondering just _what the fucking hell is going on_, I manage to speak. "Okaaay… Here's the money, just give me the deed or whatever and I'll be on my way." 'Yeah, real smooth. Well, at least she probably won't be able to misinterpret that.' I place a few bags full of bits on the table, and with a nervous laugh, she pushes a document over to me. "Just sign your name there, then I'll keep this copy, and you can take the one under it." Reading carefully to make sure it actually is the deed, I eventually sign the paper, hand her the top one, and walk off with the second. I may have walked off a bit too quickly though…

Anyway, once I went over to Fluttershy's to get the wagon, which all my stuff was still in, I brought it with me over to my new house, and plugged it all in. Luckily for me, there already was a TV in the living room, so I didn't have shit to worry about as far as playing the Xbox went. 'Okay, now that that is done, I should probably go talk to Rarity. I walk up to the door, step through it, and bump into someone. Something. Still haven't figured that bit out yet. "Ow! Watch where you're going, Joseph!" "You should take your own advice, Mr. Monkey. Anyway, what are you doing here?" A smile spreads across his face. "Nothing much, just wanted to show you my newest toy." As he says this, he pulls out a weird staff, with a diamond shaped rock on the end. Not surprisingly, the rock has a troll face on it. 'Okay, where did he even have that? I know I didn't notice it until he pulled it out.' He points the end with the troll face towards the couch in the living room, and a ball of light flies from the staff to my couch. Next thing I know, the couch is on the ceiling, completely unaffected by gravity.

CONVENIENT PLOT POINT!

In a faraway world, much different from anything our heroine has ever seen…

"GODDAMN, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ENERGY I KEEP SENSING?! IT'S DRIVING ME _CRAZY!_" This coming from a two headed, green scaled, all-powerful humanoid creature who serves as the ruler of this strange world. A Shadowling comes forth from seemingly nowhere, it's voice having similar origins. "Master, we have finally located the energy of which you speak. It is coming from a place called Mythis. It is a world full of rainbows, sunshine, and talking ponies." "BRING THE SOURCE OF THE ENERGY HERE, AND KILL ANYTHING THERE THAT MOVES!"

A/N: Well, that escalated quickly. Also, don't misunderstand what I said at the beginning of this chapter, I will be posting some new chapters over the course of the week. However, if I don't have at least 7 reviews total by the 25th, I will be giving up this fanfic. So PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!


	6. Chapter 6: Dragon Lord plays some games

A/N: Wow, two reviews from people other than matt! Oh yeah, and remember what I said about making chapters longer? I'm pretty sure you might as well ignore that. I was trying to make the last chapter 3000 words, but kinda ran out of ideas again and rushed my chapter ending. By the way, I'll be starting chapters differently from now on. I was kinda getting tired of rewriting something for each chapter, hope no one goes crazy over one minor change to my writing style, but if so, well, you have another reason to review! ANYWAY! On to where I respond to you guys!

matt miller 142240: Hey, at least we actually _saw_ him last chapter. It wasn't intentional for him to show up at the end, I had been going to head over to Otaku's place and end it there, but… well, read the above. I promise he won't be at the end this chapter, though!

kolto1234: Thanks for reviewing then. I don't mind if your reviews don't make a lot of sense, I am good at figuring things out anyway. I'm in Geometry 2 right now, and I _still_ do most of the work in my head!

SonofDeath: I know it isn't, I've read several pony/human fanfics before, and completely understand the whole "they are sentient, therefore not animals, if they consent all good" thing. I don't mind that you called me on what the summary used to say, but I changed that already. I hope you didn't see the summary and leave a review just about it and then not read… this is a really good fanfic so far (or so I've been told). Anyway, why did it take so long for your review to show up? I've been checking every day, but it didn't show up until today (10/21/14), which really bothers me… Wait! That means that really, you were the first to review! Oh my, I'm so sorry, I hate, I absolutely hate, that I made such a grave error. T-T

ON TO THE STORY!

Ok, so me and Mr. Monkey were heading to Rarity's shop now, with my couch back on the floor, thankfully. "If she does notice the bumps on his head, I wonder whose side she will take. Eh, probably his, she _is _the element of generosity after all.'

Yeah, turns out she did notice, and did take his side. Luckily, she pretty much forgot about that when I mentioned I had no clothes at all other than what I was wearing, and would really rather not go without. With the promise of a whole wardrobe by tomorrow, I leave and head over to Otaku's. 'I seriously hope she doesn't overwork herself… again…' I didn't say anything too specific as for what they needed to look like, mostly just jeans and T-shirts. She had taken my measurements while we were there, and I had been very clear that I wanted the new clothes to look pretty much like what I was already wearing, so she shouldn't have much difficulty with it, I'm just worried she'll make so many outfits that they actually _will_ fill up a wardrobe.

Anyway, once we got to Otaku's, I pretty much bombarded him with some questions that had popped up over the course of the day. Just one of them is as follows: "Hey, if you can still get to websites from back on Earth, how come none of them have discovered the show? " "Well, on Mythis, most websites use mlp. instead of the www. we have back on Earth. Therefore, the ponies around here never happen to stumble upon any websites from Earth and go crazy because of what they see. Just use the exact same URL you normally would, and it will pull up the site you are looking for." "Okay, what about Xbox Live?" "Your Xbox is the only one in Equestria, assuming you have one, that is." Well, that's interesting… "Oh yeah, I was wondering… Could you maybe draw up a monster spawner or something? I have this cool sword now, but I don't have anything to fight with it (A/N: LOL, so much foreshadowing. Wait, the last chapter made it pretty obvious already… yeah, you can ignore this)." Otaku sits there for a while, lost in thought. When he finally responds, I am surprised by his answer to say the least. "Sure, but it would stay at your house, not mine, they would have to be weak as hell in case they manage to escape, and there would have to be a way to turn it off. Give me a day or two and I might have something." 'Okay, so I'll get what I asked for, but if anything goes wrong, it's my fault, and even if nothing does go wrong, it still won't be very satisfying. Eh, better than nothing.'

After that, I went home, with Mr. Monkey coming with me, surprisingly having promised not to troll me. Apparently, he just wanted to play some games. So, when we got there, I turned on the Xbox, signed in, and while I was at it, deleted everyone else's profiles from it. It just took up extra space on the hard drive, and it's not like they were going to show up and ask to play anytime soon. After I finished doing that, I handed Mr. Monkey a controller, and was quite surprised when he was able to work it properly. After all, monkey hands are an evolution or two away from that of a human's. After thinking on it for several minutes, he chose to name his profile TrollKing23. 'Nothing wrong with that, I suppose.

Since I am connected to Xbox Live, and my friend Mason is on (just some guy I met at camp that I became friends on Xbox Live with so we could talk), I start up a private chat with him. When he accepts the invitation, I speak: "Hey man, how's your face doing? Been a while since we last talked, hasn't it?" "Yeah, it has. Hey, is there something up with your connection? I can hear you, there's just a lot of static for some reason." "Umm… let's just say you wouldn't believe me and leave it at that. Anyway, I've got this guy I've just met here, his gamertag is TrollKing23. I'm thinking we move this to a group chat, and go play some Black Ops 2." "Sure, sounds good to me."

We spent the next few hours playing before me and Mason agreed it was getting a little late. We said our goodbyes, and then I turned off the system, went to my room, and got on my DSi to check up on a few of the fanfics I read, while Mr. Monkey headed back over to Otaku's place for the night.

A/N: While I was writing this chapter, I noticed this story had 129 views already! However, that shows that either a good many people didn't like my story, or aren't reviewing. I won't force you to review to show that you care about this story. But I think it's about time I shut up and let you go about your business. BYE!


	7. Chapter 7: Rainbow thinks I'm cool?

A/N: I apologize in advance, I just need to vent a bit. School is so damn annoying! Just today, in my last class, my DSi was taken up. Which would've been fine, had the teacher not asked me to put _all_ the chairs in the room on the table before he gave it back. I ride a bus, and I had to run to get outside in time to find and then get on my bus. I'll admit, it's not that bad every day, but all 8 of my teachers expect me to do perfect in class, which I just can't. I'm not some kind of super student! In fact, since I started writing this story, I find it difficult to concentrate in class. Ideas just keep popping into my head, or an idea I already had comes to mind and I find myself elaborating on it, and then remember that I have work to do. Usually because someone calls me on it, asking: "Why aren't you working?" I am really starting to get pissed off! However, I _have _to stay in school, and try to get good grades, because I have plans for my future. Whew. Thanks for not hating, I just really needed to get that out. ANYWAY! The reviews!

matt miller 142240: Will do, but if you want an OC for my One Piece fanfic, well, just go read the other story.

spikedash115 (that's a ship, isn't it?): I didn't describe his house for a reason: nothing important is going to happen there, meaning it would've just been unnecessary details, and I don't like doing stuff that I don't have a reason to. However, I will tell you this: the house is a one bedroom with a kitchen, dining room, living room, blah blah blah, and has a quite spacious attic. Now, I have just one question: What needs to be improved about my writing?

kolto1234: HA! That is where you are wrong! I am a sophomore! I actually _should_ be a junior, but let's not worry about the irrelevant details. In case you missed the hints in the last two chapters, there will be a lot of action in this story's future. Speaking of which, I might need a beta! I don't really know how that works though…

ON TO THE STORY!

A few days had passed since I had asked Otaku to make that spawner for me, and I was starting to wonder if he had forgotten about it or something. 'Maybe I should head over there and ask him where he is at with it.' I go ahead and press the "Save and Quit" option on my Minecraft game, deciding I was done for now anyway. Once it is done saving, I get up and turn off the system, then head outside. Not long after, I spot Otaku, carrying some strange machine with his magic. "Oh, hey, Otaku, I was just coming to talk to you! What's that you got there?" "Your monster spawner. It took longer than I thought it would. A lot longer. I had to actually combine magic and technology to get it to work properly." Once he reaches me, I turn around and start heading back to my house, Otaku at my side. "So, how come you couldn't just make it work how you wanted right off the bat?" Otaku sighs at this. "Remember how I said it needed to be able to turn off? I thought I had it at first, but the monsters wouldn't stop appearing. The magic it uses to summon the monsters doesn't have any way to stop summoning them without being removed entirely. So I did something different. I made a container for it that would block the magic from working, but would let it be used when someone wanted to. All you have to do is flip the switch on the side, and it stops blocking the magic." 'Wow. No wonder it had taken so long. Something like that can't just be made in a day, even for someone like Otaku.'

So there I was, in the attic of my house, switching my weapon between the axe and sword forms in order to kill the monsters that were constantly coming forth. I continue like this for about an hour before I finally begin to grow tired, and use the crowd weaving skills I learned from 5 years of dodging anyone in my way to get to class on time to slip between them and flip the switch, causing all of them to disappear. 'That's strange, Otaku never said _that _would happen. Guess I should ask him about it later.' I turn around to see a certain cyan pegasus standing in the doorway. "Dude, that was so cool! Especially the part where you just walked right through them like that! They couldn't even touch you!" I just stare for a second, surprised that Rainbow Dash even came to see me, let alone that she is complimenting my skills. "Uh, thanks? Hey, if you don't mind my asking, what are you doing here?" Zarthig chooses now to fly down from the rafters and land on my shoulder, seemingly showing off his flying ability to Rainbow. "You have a dragon, too! That alone makes you, like, 20% cooler. Oh, right! I'm here because Twilight finally decided that someone should tell you the whole dick thing was just a joke. Otaku asked the same question not long after he showed up, and when he met you, he told Twilight to say yes if you happened to ask that." 'Wow. Just… wow. Eh, fuck it. Rainbow Dash just freaking complimented me, _nothing_ is going to ruin this for me!' "Well, since you're here, do you wanna see me play some games? They're from back home, so most of the time the characters are human, but they are still pretty fun." Rainbow jumps at this, yelling: "Sure! Mr. Monkey told me that Black Ops game was pretty cool, so how about you play that?"

Ten minutes later, I am getting my ass kicked by bots who all seem to be homing in on my perfect hiding place, regardless of the fact I set it to Free-For-All. "Dude, I thought you were good at this game. Those guys are bucking you up big time!" "Gee, I didn't notice! Anything else you want to let me know?" "Yeah. If you just place one of those shock charge thingies next to that door and stand over there by the wall, you should be able to kill them before they even get a chance to see you." 'Okay, why couldn't she have hands?! She figured that out after just a few minutes of watching me play, and I _know_ I never thought of that before. She would be a complete boss at this game!'

A/N: Okay, I did remove the poll, but don't worry. I went ahead and decided to go with a more direct way to see who wants more stories with John in them. I went ahead and posted a story for One Piece, but the first chapter is basically just me begging for some OCs. For now at least. I will change it to an actual chapter on the 26th. Possibly later if I haven't got enough people to submit an OC for me, but that's irrelevant. Once that story starts up, expect updates on this story to be much less often. In fact, don't expect an update more than once every two days from now on, since I kinda am already working on the other fanfic.


	8. Chapter 8: Something in the Shadows

A/N: YAY! Both stories have betas now! Please, oh glorious 0-Blazing Sun-0, say a few words for the readers! _Howdy everypony! 0-Blazing Sun-0_ _here;_ _some of you might know me from my own story A Second Chance, I'm here to offer my support as a beta for DragonLord, so why not offer your own support by leaving him a review? _Well, thank you for that, but we must move on to the reviews now.

kolto1234: Good, I was starting to wonder if I hadn't made it obvious enough. As for what a beta is, they are another author who helps you write the story from what I can tell, but I don't exactly know how that works through FanFiction, as I said last chapter. Now, as for that one little word, that was done by autocorrect I guess. I read all my chapters after I post them, so I actually spotted that before you reviewed, but when I tried to fix it, I accidentally put the fixed version of chapter 7 over chapter 6. If I hadn't read your review, I never would have realized that until someone noticed the same chapter being in the story twice, so thanks.

spikedash115: As for me being all over the place, while some of it may just be you, I also have to admit I'm not doing too well with my transitions and some other minor areas of the writing. In fact, with the way I write my stories, I don't hit enter before I have someone else talk. However, that might just change from here on out. Maybe. Possibly. ANYWAY, as far the ship pair, I just can't see Spike and Rainbow Dash. Rainbow likes stuff that is cool, and while Spike is a dragon, the last thing he is is cool. Oh yes, and for the readers who didn't guess yet, I'm a fan of Rainbow Dash. She's basically a rainbow colored Sonic (by the way, I don't really care for Sonic at all, he is just the best example) with wings. How could I _not_ like that?

ON TO THE STORY!

Okay, so me and Rainbow are heading over to Twilight's place so that I can apologize for overreacting, and maybe find a way to let Rainbow play the game now and then. As we are walking, I try and think of the best way to apologize, but none of them sound right. 'I'm sorry I freaked out when you said you had a dick?' No, too easily misinterpreted. 'Sorry for overreacting?' Maybe, but it just doesn't sound right to me. I continue like this until we reach the library, where I stand to the side as I knock on the door. This time however, it is slowly opened by Twilight's magic.

"Come in."

I walk inside, trying to avoid eye contact. Not very easy when the person, or in this case pony, has eyes the size of your hand. When she sees that it's me, Twilight smiles. "Oh, it's you, Joseph… Would you like some tea? " As she says this, she walks into what I assume is her kitchen, and comes back holding a tray with three filled teacups on it.

"Yeah, that would be great." I rub the back of my neck. "Listen, I kinda wanted to apologize for overreacting before. Rainbow told me about how it was a joke, and I just couldn't help but feel bad for yelling at you."

Twilight blinks at this. "That's strange. When you ran out of here like that, I felt bad for playing such an inappropriate joke on you."

I let out a small sigh, glad the tension's cleared up. "Okay then, how about we just put the blame on Otaku and let bygones be bygones?"

Twilight giggles. "That works for me. Now, I know you had to have come here for something other than to apologize to me. I'm not _that_ popular of a pony."

"Actually, I had been wondering if there was a spell or something that would give Rainbow hands for a little while, or maybe a way to make some kind of amulet or something that would allow her to turn into a human when she wore it. She was quite interested in the games I have, but she can't work the controller with her hooves."

"I'm pretty sure something like that would fall into Otaku's area of expertise, seeing as he can make anything he wants just by drawing it. I'll look into it, though." As she says this, she walks up to a shelf and draws a book titled _Magic Based on Mythical Creatures_. Taking this as my queue to leave, I put down my empty teacup, say a quick goodbye, and do so.

The next day, I wake up to Rainbow stan-no, sitting on my chest, looking exactly like her Equestria Girls version, smiling a few inches away from my face. "Hey, Joseph. Notice anything?"

"Hmm. Did you get your mane cut?" I asked playfully.

"No, silly, I'm a human! That means we can go play some of your games together!"

"Yes, I suppose it does. So, was it Twilight or Otaku?"

"Twilight. She found this Human for a Day spell in that book, but she's working on trying to make it permanent and enchanting an amulet with it like you said."

I think about this for a moment: _Hope I haven't fucked up the show already. Eh, fuck it_. "Come on; let's go play some Call of Dutes."

Rainbow gets off of me and walks somewhat unsteadily towards the door to the living room. I sigh, and say: "Here, let me help you." I walk over and put one of her arms over my shoulder, and one of mine around her waist, then walk her over to the couch. "Seriously rainbow, how did you even get to my house if you can't even walk to the door?"

She chuckled nervously. "Heh heh… it's a secret."

"Really, Rainbow, if you're going to be a human more often, you're gonna need to learn to walk on two feet." As I say this, I set her down on the small sofa before going over and turning on the Xbox, grabbing a controller for each of us and handing one to her as I sit down next to her.

A few hours later, we hear a knock at the door. I pause the game and turn to Rainbow Dash. "My house, I'll answer it." I tell her politely. I get up and go to the door, surprised when I have to look even lower than usual to see who it is, which happens to be little Scootaloo. "Hey, little filly. What are you here for?"

"I heard Rainbow Dash was over here, and I was thinking we could hang out."

"Yeah, she's here. In fact, I think she was just about to leave. Come on in."

Scootaloo walks in, only to scream: "I thought there you were the only human in Equestria! Who's that?!"

"Oh, my bad. Twilight cast a spell on Rainbow to make her a human for a day. Probably should have mentioned that."

Rainbow laughs "Yeah, don't worry; it's just me, Scoots."

The small filly walks up to her with a challenging look in her eye. "Prove it!" Rolling her eyes, Rainbow gets down on all fours to whisper in Scootaloo's ear. "O-okay, you're Rainbow Dash. Hey, uh, Joseph. Would you maybe want to see the Cutie Mark Crusader's clubhouse?"

I think for a moment. "Sure, why not?"

Rainbow asks to stay behind and play more games while we're gone, which I agree to. As we make our way through town, I can't help but feel like I'm being watched, and not by the various ponies going about their days. As I look around to try and figure out where this feeling is coming from, I keep thinking I see shadows move out of the corner of my eye…

About 20 minutes later, Scootaloo and I are standing outside the clubhouse after she finished showing me the interior.. "Ya know, Scootaloo, Applebloom sure knows how to build stuff. Just something I thought I should mention. Thanks for showing me the clubhouse, but I'm pretty sure we need to head back now." She nodded her agreement and we turned to leave.

On the way back, the sun began dropping from the sky in order to give way to the moon, causing shadows to quickly stretch out. A chill ran down my spine when I noticed some of these shadows flit behind buildings.

A/N: Is this my longest chapter?! I think it is! But who cares! My faithful readers have a new chapter to read, that is all that matters.


	9. Chapter 9: Preparing for War (pt1)

A/N: Wow, the last chapter was made even better than I had hoped by my beta, even though he either missed or ignored one little thing I had wanted him to do. No biggie. You guys got a high quality chapter, I got the satisfaction of posting it on one of my stories for you, and 0-Blazing Sun-0 is probably getting some new people checking out his stories. Everybody wins. Now, this story is about to take a bit of a dark turn before we reach the action, but that's just to help the plot. Now, reviews? I think I was gonna do the reviews next, I don't remember. 0-Blazing Sun-0, was I about to do the reviews?_ Well I would hope so; what kind of author doesn't show his loyal readers some love? _ Oh, right. Wait, I can't do the reviews because there weren't any! Not even one goddamn review! I want to know what you guys think of the story, and if you don't review, I start to feel like no one is even reading my story.

Otaku: Okay, now that you're done with your little rant, I just have one question: Why didn't you come to me for an enchanted necklace?

Me: You've done more than enough giving me a dragon and sword, and anyway, I just thought it would be nice to get me and Twilight on good terms again. Besides, aren't you busy getting a crew?

Otaku: IRRELEVANT!

Rainbow: Um, Joseph, are you thinking of making me your marefriend anytime soon?

Me: You know, I hadn't even considered that ye-

Mr. Monkey: GET TO THE DAMN STORY ALREADY!

Everyone else: Okay…

ON TO THE STORY!

I just sit there, dumbfounded by what I had just been told_. What the hell. Two ponies were killed in the middle of the night, but we don't even have a clue as to how? This is just too messed up. I mean, sure, they probably hadn't been important in the show anyway, but something _killed_ them! This is Equestria for crying out loud! The worst thing that happens here is someone threatens to take over the kingdom before the Mane Six show up and ruin it for them!_

Twilight waves a hoof in front of my face, trying to get my attention.

"Joseph, come on! From what I've heard from Otaku, you humans know how to deal with this kind of stuff. We need to find out who did this so that we can come up with a plan to take care of them!" She's obviously distraught over the news. "We _can't_ let anypony_ else_ get hurt over this! If we can find out what's going on, maybe we can use the Elements of Harmony to stop it."

I rise from my stupor, surprised at what she just said. "You really think the Elements of Harmony would be enough to stop someone -or thing- that just kills ponies without a second thought? Come on, you've got to be kidding me! Nightmare Moon wasn't even evil enough to _kill_ anybody…. Pony, whatever, you know what I mean! All you did was turn her back into Luna, but I'm willing to bet whoever is doing this was _never_ nice."

"Then what do you suggest we do, Joseph?" It's easy to see she's struggling to keep her cool, and I can't say I blame her.

I sigh, already sorry for what I am about to say. "The only option is to find them and kill them before they do the same to all of Equestria. I have a feeling we aren't just dealing with one murderous creature, but many. Now, do the princesses know about this? If not, we need to talk to them right away. The soldiers need to be ready to defend Equestria at all costs."

Twilight just stands there, jaw dropped almost impossibly low. Recovering, she says: "I'll write a letter to Princess Celestia right away! SPIKE! I need you to take a letter, RIGHT NOW!"

I decide to go ahead and take my leave, heading over to Otaku's to see if he could maybe draw me up some armor to match my sword. The way things are going, I will probably need it.

Not too much later, I find myself trying to convince Otaku that something bad is actually happening in Equestria, but for some reason he just refuses to accept the possibility "No way. This is Equestria. _Nothing_ bad happens here, save for an easily defeated 'evildoer' once a season. We're still in season one, so we've already hit our allotted amount of evil for the time being.."

I let out a frustrated sigh, deciding make one last attempt to reason with him. "If nothing bad ever happens here, how come there are some ponies who just got _killed_ last night?! Face it, either something is causing the show to go off course, or there is one _huge_ gap between episodes. No matter how you look at it, Equestria is going to need some kind of defense against _whatever_ this is."

"Whatever, let's just say I believe you for a little bit. What can these ponies really do to defend themselves; save using the Elements of Harmony, which happens to be the most powerful magic in the fucking land! Pretty much _nothing_ in Equestria is capable of killing _anything, _save for the sword I made you. The only way Equestria would stand a chance is if I did something that could possibly destroy the universe: make a portal between worlds and bring through a select few people strong enough fight alongside you."

I blink at this, surprised that even he would consider such a thing. "Wait, what world do you have in mind?"

Otaku shakes his head, white and green mane flying back and forth as he does so. "First off, I never said I believed you, only suggested the possibility that I did. Second, to answer your question, I was thinking One Piece. I already have another version of myself there, which doesn't really help me any as far as mental stability. I am experiencing three different lives at once, for crying out loud!"

"Okay… So, how would you even go about making that portal? And who would you choose to have come across?"

Now it is Otaku's turn to sigh in frustration. "_Obviously_, I would draw it. As for who I would bring, who better than my own crew? Some of them are even stronger than certain members with Luffy's crew, believe it or not."

A/N: So yeah, sorry if it's a little short, but I'm not pleased with the lack of reviews, so you don't get to be pleased with this chapter. If you couldn't tell, there will soon be a crossover of sorts in this story, just to keep it interesting. All of the OCs from my other story, once the crew is actually complete, will be making an appearance here to help out with the little war coming up. Yes, it is a _war_. Anyway, if you haven't yet, go read my other story, since there won't be another chapter here until the crew is finished. See ya later, and _please_, leave a damn review. Oh, and before i forget, from now on, this story will update only on Thursday, while Whittaker D John updates on Monday. Now, since there is going to be a crossover, go read my other story to get acquainted with John's crew. there won't be an update here until his crew is complete anyway, so go read!


	10. Chapter 10: Preparing for War (pt2)

A/N: so yeah, I know I said something about not posting new chapters for a while, but well, fuck it. New chapter. Beta, anything to add? _A belated Happy Halloween to all!_ Well, that's nice of you to say… So, reviews, right?

matt miller 142240: Thanks for the compliment, but I would prefer something actually regarding the chapter content next time.

baby: DEAR GOD, WOMAN, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? Nah, I'm just kidding. But seriously, tone it down a bit. I know, (*flips hair*) I'm gorgeous, but please, try to restrain yourself. As for my sister… just keep her uninvolved in your reviews from now on, and all is good. As for who is helping me, his penname is 0-Blazing Sun-0. I don't know anything else about him, aside from a few minor details that you don't need to worry about, so meh. But yeah, tone down your reviews or I will start removing them.

Otaku: Can we just move on to the story?

Me: No, we're going to have this chapter be nothing but an author's note. OF COURSE WE'RE GOING TO GET TO THE STORY, DUMBASS!

Rainbow: Do you think I could help with the fight later on?

Me: A little help here, senpai?

0-Blazing Sun-0: Come on, it's _Rainbow Dash_; you couldn't stop her from helping if you tried. Besides, when is she _not _helpful in a fight?

Me: Eh, fine.

ON TO THE STORY!

Lucky me, I finally managed to convince Otaku to make me a suit of armor, and now had a set that worked in a similar fashion to my sword. Its basic form was just a golden gauntlet, but, by twisting a little gem on it, a full suit of golden armor would magically appear on me. Of course, there was one more form of my armor, which was big, bulky, and weaponized. Mounted on the right shoulder of this final form of my armor was a gigantic cannon I named the Shinigami Cannon. On the back was a Molecular Generator, something I thought up one day that had infinite possibilities, weapon or otherwise.

The Shinigami Cannon fired a beam-like blast that would destroy quite a large area with ease (just ignore the crater near the edge of town, please). The Molecular Generator could instantly form any object, given that it wasn't made of organic tissue, for me to use. For this very purpose, I had Otaku draw up a very special miniature missile. It could only destroy a small area, maybe a whole 2 foot radius, but it had the capacity to reform itself afterward, and then seek a new target, making it the perfect weapon of war.

A whole week had passed without incident since the death of the two ponies, who I learned were Applejack's neighbor Carrot Top and a local fruit vendor named Berry Punch. No one was sure if something major was going on or not, but it seems that me, Twilight, and the princesses all agreed it was better to be prepared just in case. In fact, I was on my way over to Twilight's to see if the amulet had been finished for this very reason. If it was, well, I could duplicate it for anyone else who needed it. I had told Otaku to work on just a simple gauntlet with a Molecular Generator on it so that those who took human form for the upcoming battle, if it did in fact come to pass, would have a fighting chance.

Turns out, she had finished it; so I just scanned it with my gauntlet, switched to the third form of my armor, and generated exactly ten copies.

"There, that should be enough. If not, Otaku is working on a simpler version of the device I used to make these here. All you will have to do is scan what you want to create, and then just focus on doing so. I assume it works in a similar way to your magic, but I wouldn't know."

"That sounds wonderful. With this, and those gauntlets you mentioned, the princesses' soldiers should be able to fight almost as well as you in a few days." Twilight was noticeably relieved by this news.

I nod and then leave, taking one of the amulets with me to give to Rainbow. I decided it was about time I head home, but on the way I noticed that strange feeling again. It was the feeling that I was being watched, by some_thing_, rather than some… pony. Knowing better than to ignore it, I called to Zarthig. As usual, he was flying a good distance above me, but not out of hearing range. The small dragon immediately swooped down, not towards me, but into a gap between two houses.

A few moments later, he returned, holding a… shadow… in his mouth. With a flick of his head, he threw the chunk of shadow into the air, and downed it in one go. As I watched him do this, I noticed that the feeling was gone. Strange…

A/N: Sorry if it's short, but oh well. I can't really do _anything_ else until John's crew is complete, so you're going to have to wait at least a month for the next chapter here. In the meantime, go read my other story, since it will soon tie into this one.


	11. Chapter 11: The Last Straw (pt1)

A/N: Say what?! I'm back with a new chapter for this story? What sorcery is this? Nah, I'm just kidding. But yes, I'm back, surprising as that may be, seeing as my One Piece fic didn't reach the point I claimed it would before I posted another chapter here. Now, before we get started, let me respond to the reviews.

My other self: Looks like it was a little more than a month. Sorry. Oh, and the weapons are _supposed_ to be OP.

baby: (11/8) I'm glad you think my ideas are cool. As for why you can't like me… Who said you couldn't? But I will warn you, I am one crazy nerd. So it would probably be best if you didn't act on it. Oh, and thank you for that. If she isn't mentioned in the chapter, she shouldn't be mentioned in a review.

baby: (12/13) Hmm… When _is_ that next chapter…? Oh yeah, this _is_ the next chapter. Now, two things: One, your email didn't come through, but my sister told me what it was. Two, I sent you a message or two through Yahoo Messenger. Feel special.

Rainbow: Good! Now you can write more about how awesome I am!

Me: And why would I do that? You have too much of an ego as it is!

0-Blazing Sun-0: Yeah… Isn't that one of the reasons you crush so hard on that sexy flank of hers?

Me: SILENCE!

Otaku: Are we going to get started yet?

Me: Fine… ON TO THE STORY!

"Otaku! Come on already! Wake up, dammit!"

With a jolt, the pale red unicorn rises to his feet. "Wha-aah… What is it?"

I shake my head with a sigh. "It's been three weeks. How many more crewmembers do you need? We haven't seen any signs of those shadow things. And you know how the saying goes…"

"Yeah, yeah. 'It's always calmest before the storm.' I've always hated that saying, you know. Anyway, I guess I can go ahead and draw up the portal."

Genuine curiosity adorning my features, I walk up next to him. "I've actually been meaning to ask you how you do that. Mind if I watch?"

Now sighing himself, Otaku replies. "First off, it's just drawing. I just draw a picture and think of the world where I want it to show up. Second, I can't draw it _here_. It only works if I draw it back on Earth."

"Aww… Oh well. Let me know when your crew is about to come through." At that, I turn and walk out the door of Otaku's house.

Almost immediately, one of Celestia's Pegasus guards flies down and lands in front of me, taking human form as soon as he touches down. Yeah, once Celestia saw how much better the human body was for combat and the like, she had all of her guard equipped with the amulets. I had actually been tasked with helping her guard learn to maneuver properly while in human form (lucky me), and had been in Canterlot for two weeks for that very purpose; so needless to say, all of the guards knew me by name.

This particular guard was Lieutenant Wind Chaser. Out of all the other guards, he's my favorite. I actually get along with him, and he was in the first group of guards to get the amulets, so I've known him longer than most of the others too. What he had come down to Ponyville for, though, was a complete mystery to me.

"Joseph. We spot-"

"I thought I told you I prefer to be called either Joe or Errisu-san."

With a joking roll of his eyes, Wind Chaser continues. "Well, _Errisu-san_, we spotted some of those shadow things you warned us about near Manehattan. We need you to help us improve the city's defenses."

Surprise no doubt tattooed on my forehead, I just stand there for a moment. Then, rising out of my initial shock, I let out a frustrated groan. "Whaaaaat?! Why me?!"

Oh my fucking… how the fuck can he do a perfect trollface?! "Problem?" Face? Meet Palm.

"Just… No. Ugh, fucking ponies and your perfect facial expressions… Whatever, let's just head over to Twilight's real quick so we can bring her with us and fuck up her schedule. Besides, she might be able to help." On that note, I turn away from Wind Chaser, and begin heading towards Golden Oaks Library.

So, while sitting down and sipping a cup of tea, I am trying to convince Twilight to bring her nerdy flank with us. I only really have two reasons for her to come, both of which being far more important than they would seem. Well, one of the reasons, at least. The first reason, the one I actually am about to tell her, well…

"Twilight, come on. I already thought up something that should work, but I need _you_ to help me do it. You and your magic might be the only way this will work. You're the most powerful unicorn there is, save for the Princesses. And it's not like we can ask them to come all the way to Manehattan with us just to cast a couple dozen spells."

Her immediate reply takes the form of an exasperated sigh. "Fine. I'll do it. Just give me a while to pack."

And that brings us to the second reason. If she, and with her, the rest of the Mane Six, come with me to Manehattan, at least I'll be able to protect them if those shadow things attack. If they were to stay here… who knows what would happen?

A few hours later, me, Wind Chaser, Twilight, and, obviously, the rest of the Mane Six are waiting at the station for the train, when we finally hear the whistle. Turning my head slightly, my eyes are assaulted by the outrageous amount of pink. As it comes to a stop, I have to turn away for a moment, hoping that doing so will lessen the impact of the color. When the last few ponies disembark, however, I see that my hopes were to no avail. The train is just as devastatingly pink as it was at first. I mean, I had heard it was pink, but _geez_, they could've at least balanced out with a less girly color.

Despite my disdain for the color scheme of the train, we climb aboard and take our seats. From what Wind Chaser says, Manehattan is quite a distance away, so I decide to take a nap, assuming I can manage to fall asleep. I lean against the window and close my eyes, hoping to be taken in, even for a short period, by the wondrous thing known as sleep.

I wake slowly, like I always do, and take a quick look to see that a certain pink pony is missing.

"Um, Twilight, where's Pinkie?"

Sighing, the purple unicorn replies. "Pinkie was just being… Pinkie. She went off towards the back of the train."

Letting out a sigh of my own, I begin heading to the back of the train, expecting to see Pinkie somewhere on the way. What I didn't expect, however, was to find her in one of the cargo cars near the very back, laughing her pink flank off at one of those shadow things that was caught in the netting on some of the cargo. No doubt he got caught while trying to catch her, but that isn't anywhere near the first thing on my mind. No, what I'm thinking is best explained in two words.

"THE FUCK?!"

Pulling more of her "Pinkie being Pinkie" shit, the pink pony merely says, "Caps Lock much?"

Yeah, Face and Palm are going to know each other very well if this keeps up. Anyway, lifting my head from where it had been resting in my hand, I merely ask, "Why is one of these stupid shadow things here, and why aren't you dead?"

Surprisingly, my answer doesn't come from her, but the creature. "This pink… thing… just came hopping through that door there spouting some nonsense about a 'pinchy knee' and started running as soon it saw me. I chased after it, and somehow got caught in this netting. As for why I'm here, I _was_ assigned to follow you without being seen. But now that that plan has been ruined…"

And with that, all but one thought leaves my mind. 'What the fuck, they can talk.'

A/N: I'm going to level with you. I had actually planned to get at least another thousand words in for this chapter, but I never really got into writing it. Therefore, it's a semi-cliffhanger, and a "To be continued" chapter. Just saying, I doubt anyone will see the events of next chapter coming. I hope all of my faithful readers take the time to review, and are pleased with this new chapter. With that, I bid thee farewell. SEE YA NEXT WEEK!


	12. Chapter 12: The Last Straw (pt2)

A/N: MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS! I honestly only realized that this chapter was going to be uploaded on Christmas the other day. But hey! It's CHRISTMAS! Too bad I can't put anything festive in this chapter… Oh, while we're on the subject of the chapter, a lot of you are going to _hate_ it. Before I forget, make sure your dirty little asses have a wonderful Christmas. And for all those who don't celebrate Christmas, well, I don't give a fuck. I'll say Merry Christmas all I want. Bring on the flames! I prefer the heat anyway! But yeah, I've got reviews to respond to!

matt miller 142240: Technically, it isn't the start of a war, it's the last straw before declaring war. But I am glad you liked it, seeing as you're going to _hate_ this one.

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><p>Mr. Monkey: What's going to happen this chapter that so many people are going to hate?<p>

Me: Well, I would tell you, but if I were to tell you, it would be a spoiler.

Mr. Monkey: But I'm one of the characters! How can you spoil it for me?

Me: I'll put it like this: there's a reason you didn't come with me to Manehattan.

Otaku: And what about me? I didn't come either.

Me: Hehe… Well, as much as I'm enjoying this conversation, we should really get to the chapter now.

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><p>Let's see, now where were we… Oh yes, here we go:<p>

'What the fuck, they can talk.'

While I'm stuck trying to wrap my head around that, the shadow creature begins to fade into nothing. Within moments, all but one arm is gone. For reasons unknown, Zarthig swoops down and bites the arm in half, saving the hand from disappearing.

Finally coming to my senses, I turn to the small dragon, who immediately flies off back to our seats, for some fucking reason. And then I realize something: Zarthig had the remaining bit of the arm in his mouth when he flew off. And that arm is exactly what I need for how I plan to upgrade Manehattan's defenses.

"That is one smart dragon. Okay, come 'ere, Pinkie."

Just as she is about to walk past me, I pick her up, and, to my great shock, she feels incredibly light. In fact… Now that I think about it, a lot of things that should have seemed heavy to me haven't in the slightest… Weird. Guess I'll just have to ask Twilight about it, seeing as Otaku didn't come with us.

Anyway, as we walk back into the car where the others are at, I hear a loud sound. The best way to describe it is that it sounded like "squee" and was high pitched like crazy. Wait; didn't one of the fanfics I read have something about them going "squee"? Nope, not even going to start thinking about it. I like my brain in a solid state, thank you.

Oh, right, back to the "squee". Yeah, that was Twilight, apparently. Zarthig is just cuddling up next to her (what the fuck, why is a dragon cuddling?!), and she is examining the arm with her magic. Oh, and here comes the boring vocalization of her discoveries.

"Hmm… It seems to be just like a regular shadow, but somehow organic at the same time. It's even in a semi-solid state. It looks like, whatever these things are, they can become insubstantial and phase though solid objects. Oh, I would just _love_ to study it more, but all my equipment is back at the library…"

Seeing that she is finally done, I say, "At least you didn't have a nerdgasm about it. I would've jumped off the train if that happened. Now, since you've scanned that arm, I need you to do something for me. We're going to have to wait until we get to Manehattan, though. Oh, before I forget, something weird has been going on since I got here. Back on my world, I was a weakling. But since I came here, everything that _should_ have been heavy to me hasn't. Think you could try and find out why?"

Okay, I'm just going to sum up the rest of the train ride, seeing as you probably don't care about all the minor details. Twilight did a little magical scan on me, spouted some uber-nerd nonsense basically saying that all of my physical abilities have been amplified quite a bit. Before, I couldn't lift 25 pounds with one arm, but now I can lift about 90. Still not very impressive compared to a lot of people back on Earth, but I'm taking too long for this bit. Anyway, after that, not very much happened. I talked to Twilight a bit about my plans for upgrading Manehattan's defenses, she agreed that she could do it, and an hour after that we finally arrived at the station.

* * *

><p>Now, for Manehattan's defenses; me and Twilight just walked around the edges of the city, me generating Regen-Missiles, placing them in barrels and the like, and her casting spells to make sure that only those shadow creatures would activate them, and that only the shadow creatures could be destroyed by them. All in all, it made for a near perfect defense for when they attacked.<p>

Seeing as we were done here, but not wanting to just go right back to Ponyville, along with the fact that it was getting dark, we go to find a hotel. It doesn't take long, and we get our rooms in record time. Awkwardly enough, I end up being roomed with Rainbow. She actually manages to fall asleep rather quickly, but for some reason sleep eludes me the whole night.

* * *

><p>As sunlight finally enters the room (landing on my face, of course), I turn to the pony who kept me up all night. Well, it wasn't really her, but her presence. All night, all I could think was, 'No dirty thoughts, no dirty thoughts, no dirty thoughts…'<p>

Anyway, once everyo- pony… is awake, we decide to split up and find stuff around town to do. Rainbow goes off trying to find some sports to watch, Rarity goes crazy when she hears there's a fashion show, and Twilight decides to take a look at the museum (uber-nerd~). Me, I head to an art gallery, hoping to see something interesting.

Now, I would say that nothing caught my attention, but that would be a terrible lie. There was a painting of a human, for crying out loud. It showed a blonde man wearing armor and a crown, the tip of his sword plunged into the ground, while a horde of demonic creatures surrounded by a purple and red fog approached him from behind. It was called "The King's Last Stand". I immediately started looking around, hoping to find somepony who knew something about it. Luckily for me, a unicorn wearing one of those painter hats is chatting with some other ponies not too far away.

Politely waiting for them to finish, I say, "Sir, by chance could you tell me something about this painting here? I find it very interesting, seeing as there aren't any humans in Equestria besides myself."

Eyes popping wide, the pony stutters a bit. "I-I'm sure th-that it did. Wh-what would you like to know?"

A smile coming to my face at his stuttering, I say, "Oh, nothing much, just what inspired you to paint it, and how you knew what a human and suit of armor designed for one would look like."

Looking around quite hastily, the unicorn grabs my arm and drags me off into an empty room. Locking the door behind us, he turns and merely says, "Sorry. This isn't something for pony ears."

"Dafuq are you talking about?"

With a sigh, the strange unicorn says, "My _pony_ name is Brush Stroke. Once upon a time, though, I went by the name of Daniel Thorne. I used to be a human, but one day I painted a picture of myself as a pony, and next thing I knew, here I was. I've been here for a few years now. I know it may sound strange, but-"

"Oh, I've got a friend who did practically the same thing. Except he just drew a picture, and his mind was split between here and Earth. I think he said his human name was John Whittaker. Hey, have you ever thought of something showing up here as you painted it? I know that Otaku can make just about anything just by drawing it."

And with that, Brush Stroke is rendered incapable of speech. Wonderful. The only thing that could make this better would be-

"Did… did you say "John Whittaker"? That's the name of a friend of mine from back on Earth… Does he know Japanese and have a bad sense of humor?"

"Tricking someone into believing Twilight Sparkle has a _dick_ bad? Yeah, he does."

"Where is he?! Dear Celestia, I missed that fucker more than should be possible!"

After a long pause, I reply. "Okay… Well, he's in Ponyville, and the Mane Six and I are going back later today, so I guess you can come with us. Of course, if you want to go now, we could always round them up… and, he's gone…"

Well, guess I should start with Rainbow. She can fly, so she would be the best bet for finding the others quickly. Knowing her, she would be at some kind of sporting event… That's the only thing wrong with her; she likes sports. I honestly don't see how. Back on Earth, sports are nothing more than an excuse to injure yourself. For the entertainment of others, no less!

Anyway, once again summing it up, me, Rainbow, and Brush Stroke managed to round up the rest of the Mane Six in record breaking time. Well, assuming the record is more than 10 minutes. After that, we were lucky enough to find the train to Ponyville just showing up, so we bought our tickets and climbed aboard. Of course, for the entire ride, Twilight wouldn't stop asking Brush Stroke (god, I'm seriously going to need a nickname for him) questions about his paintings, and if he had figured out his "Art Magic" yet. Wait, seriously? She already named it even though only two peop- ponies… can use it? Right, back to what I was saying. Yeah, it didn't take long to show up back at Ponyville. But I can guarantee not a single soul on that train expected to see what we did.

* * *

><p>Ponyville was practically in ruins. Houses with huge holes in the walls, debris littering the streets, ponies lying on the ground, terribly wounded, others obviously dead. Those who were still standing were rushing as many of those who were possible to move to the hospital. To put it into just a few words, it was chaos.<p>

Turning to look at the ponies behind me, I saw my own emotions mirrored in their faces. Shock, denial, and on Wind Chaser, rage. Before I even noticed him move, he was already flying at a speed that only Rainbow could match towards Canterlot.

A thought coming to my mind, I run off to find Otaku's house, assuming it was still standing. No, I can't think like that. He's fine. He _has_ to be fine. He himself said that Equestria didn't stand a chance as it was now. When I go around this corner, his house will be just like it was before, and he'll be inside, wondering what all the commotion is ab-

No. No! NO! His house wasn't just like it was before. It was even worse off than every other house in Ponyville. You couldn't even tell that it used to _be_ a house. Just as I am about to collapse from the sheer weight of the situation, I notice something in the rubble. An arm. A fur covered arm. Stumbling at first, I run over to it, praying to God that I made it in time. Yet, as I get closer, I notice something that sickens me. The arm isn't connected to anything… Oh, those fucking shadow things have done it now. Without a doubt, this is the last straw.

"Joseph! You're here! Wait, is that my house?! What the hell happened here… Joseph, what are you looking at?"

Turning, I see a man walking up. A human man with white and green streaked hair.

* * *

><p>AN: And _that_ is why so many of you are going to hate me. I'm posting a chapter with a very depressing ending on _Christmas_, and it's a cliffhanger, for crying out loud. Just saying, no, 0-Blazing Sun-0 didn't edit this chapter. Now, to clear up one small detail that could confuse people who read my One Piece fic. While the One Piece fic has an impact on this story, this story has _no_ impact on the One Piece fic. In other words, there will be no mention of anything that happens here on my other story. Oh, and one last thing: I'm cutting off the weekly update schedule. That's all for now!


	13. Chapter 13: The Shadow Army

A/N: I apologize for last chapter being so depressing, but I am pretty upset at the lack of feedback on the last chapter. Really, not even a review from baby… But oh well. I would like at least two reviews on this chapter, to let me know what you guys think. Now, to explain a few things you _might_ have had questions about. No, there won't be any more than two "Art Magic" users. Yes, Mr. Monkey is dead. And yes, the man at the end is Otaku, though the version from One Piece.

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><p>Me: Anyone have something to say before we get to the chapter?<p>

0-Blazing Sun-0: Why didn't you have me edit that last cha-

Me: I don't care~! ON TO THE STORY!

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><p>To be completely honest, I couldn't even manage to process any of it properly at first. My thoughts just kept bouncing around randomly. <em>Streaked hair. Otaku has hair like that. The arm. Why is there only an arm? Sword. My sword looks pretty cool. Streaked hair. He isn't Otaku. Water. The water here tastes good. The arm. Where's the rest?<em>

As much as I hate to admit it, it took me a whole ten minutes before I even realized that he was talking to me. It took me a little longer to actually make out what he was saying. But even then I didn't notice the group of people behind him for a while. Wait a minute…

He wasn't asking questions anymore. Now he was just trying to get my attention. Come to think of it… "Why am I soaking wet?"

Even in this situation, it seems he couldn't help but laugh. In answer, his arm turns into water and rises above my head, and then he drops most of it onto me, soaking me even more.

You could say that everything clicked into place right then. Or you could say that I finally started thinking properly again. Either way, I suddenly found myself saying, "Logia type? That means that you're from One Piece… Wait… Mr. Monkey is dead…"

Something about him changes right then. Nothing about his expression changed. His face had relaxed right after he dropped the water on me, but now, without so much as twitching, a menacing aspect somehow manifested itself there.

"Yeah. I know. I guess I just forgot it somehow, but I watched them kill him before they took me."

Now, if I hadn't already figured it out, I would be terribly confused right now. However, all the ponies around me just stare at him like he's crazy.

I watch as he turns to the crowd of ponies and clears his throat. "Right, I haven't explained anything yet. So, you all know how Otaku used to be from another world, right? Well, he never _left_ that world. He was here _and_ there at the same time, experiencing both worlds at the same time. And being the idiot he is, he decided to add one more world to the list. Or rather, I did. You see, I'm the version of Otaku from _that_ world, so essentially, I _am_ Otaku, and I know everything that happened to him because I _am_ him. Did that clear it up for _any_ of you?"

Three of the ponies, Twilight, Pinkie Pie, and Brush Stroke, nod, though if Pinkie actually understood that I would find a way to eat my elbows. Sorry, but eating my boots would be too mainstream. Anyway, back on topic…

A man with a sword at his waist walks up, saying, "Sorry to interrupt, Captain, but I believe introductions are in order."

"Yes, that's right. Get the others to come over here, and we can begin."

A few moments later, the rest of them walk up to us. Among them is another man with a sword, this time with blue hair, a girl with black hair and a pistols strapped to her thigh, and a man shouldering a scythe. And with that, the man with streaked hair begins his introductions.

"All right, you may know my version from this world as Otaku, but please refer to _me_ as John. I'm the captain. The girl here is my first mate and lookout, Aahee. The guy with blue hair is our cook, Glarden. Don't get confused, he isn't a proper swordsman, just a cook who's quite skilled with his sword. Next is the demolitions expert, Jack. He's the one with the scythe. And lastly is our swordsman, Kolton, the other guy with a sword, in case that wasn't obvious. I decided to bring him for one reason and one reason only; he can turn into a horse."

He should not have said that. Not with the nerd pony- Aaand there she goes. Twilight is right next to Kolton in less than a second, going full nerd-mode on him, asking him question after question about his abilities. Which brings up the subject of Devil Fruits. And that is something no one would want to try and explain to a pony like Twilight. Feeling merciful, and perhaps a bit like committing mental suicide, I walk up to them, and say, "Twilight, to put it in a way you would understand; Devil Fruits are the magic of their world. You eat one and it gives you special and unique powers. But you can only eat one, and it's near impossible to know which one it is before you eat it."

And then the purple pony just gives me a quizzical look. 'Shit… Now she's going to ask me how I know that…'

"Joseph, how would you know how something from their world works?"

Fishing for words in an apparent desert, I merely say, "Ummm…"

Luckily for me, John happens to overhear and comes over. "Twilight, you know how Pinkie sometimes says something about a fourth wall that makes no sense at all? Let's just say that the world me and Joseph originally came from was on the other side of that wall."

Seemingly satisfied with this explanation, though I have no clue how, she starts to walk off towards the library. Which is when everyone is suddenly reminded that the town was practically destroyed. So much for all the casual conversation.

Startling everyone, Twilight screams, "SPIKE!" the baby dragon in question seemingly appears from nowhere and walks up to her. Wait a minute, where the hell was he this whole time? I don't remember seeing him at all during our trip to Canterlot…

Twilight clears her throat and begins dictating to the baby dragon. "'Dear Princess Celestia, whether or not you already received word of this, Ponyville has been attacked by these shadow creatures. Only one house has been damaged beyond repair, but the owner of said house seems to have been foalnapped. His roommate, however, was, by all given evidence, killed. I believe, given the situation, this can be taken as a declaration of war.' Got all that Spike?"

"Um… how do you spell 'evidence' again?"

At this point, Pinkie bounces over, saying, "Look up the page a bit and read what you just said, silly!"

Facepalming both mentally and physically, I can't help but ask the obvious. "Pinkie, was that a little sample of you breaking the fourth wall?"

John looks at me and starts speaking. "I hope you aren't implying that this might be some kind of fanfiction. Because if it is, the author must not like us very much."

I shrug, not really sure how to answer. "I suggest we stop this conversation before we melt our brains. Now, how much longer before we round up all of Celestia's guards and go kick some shadowy ass?"

Taking a moment to realize the question was directed at her, Twilight replies. "Well, I'm still waiting for the Princess to return my letter, but it shouldn't be too long." In an extremely well-timed move, Spike burps up a letter right after she finishes her sentence.

"Ahem. 'Dearest Twilight Sparkle, I in fact had not yet received word of this, and agree that it could be taken as a deh… deh…'"

"Declaration?" I offer.

"Oh, right! 'Declaration of war, and have decided to send a few chariots to collect Joseph and anypony else who wishes to help.' Wow, you're going to go fight those things?!"

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><p>Okay, skipping ahead for your sake, seeing as you probably don't care to hear about the rest of this seemingly hour-long group conversation, John, his crew, Rainbow Dash, and I all climb aboard the chariots and head out on our way to a cave not far from Manehattan, where most of the "Shadowlings" (don't look at me like that, I'm not the one who chose the name) activity had been traced back to. On the way, John tells me more about his crew, a topic which I gladly involve myself in.<p>

"Aahee isn't a Devil Fruit user, but she can use Observation and Armament Haki, so she can definitely hold her own in a fight. Her pistols were modified recently, so one of them can be switched to a rapid fire mode, and the other can shoot 'Impact Missiles'. Basically, Impact Dials attached to small 'missiles'.

"Glarden ate the Demon Demon Fruit, which is somehow a Paramecia/Zoan crossbreed. He can turn into a demon, and summon some weaker ones. The thing is, they look just like the 'Shadowlings', so he won't really be able to use those here. His sword, Krowe, is a Devil's Blade, a weapon specifically made to work with a Devil Fruit, so when he transforms, it does too.

"Kolton ate the Horse Horse Fruit, and can use three of the Six Powers in his hybrid form. Soru, Rankyaku, and Geppo. Aside from that, he's just like your average swordsman, though probably a lot better.

"Now, Jack ate the Destroy Destroy Fruit, so he can really fuck some shit up when he feels like it. He can actually kill someone with a single hit, but I'm not so sure that his Internal Buster or Dust Pulverizer would work on the Shadowlings. By the way, he can apparently absorb explosions, so if he seems to be having trouble, just shoot him with your Shinigami Cannon."

I open my mouth to reply to that last bit, but the words die in my throat when I see a gigantic shadow reaching across at least 2 miles in any given direction. And from the looks of it, said shadow is right outside the cave we were flying to.

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><p>AN: Alright, so it's only about 2k words, or maybe a little over that. But either way, it's another chapter, right? Yeah, I know, it's pretty pathetic for the final chapter before the actual war, but it's not like I'm trying to prolong it or anything. I was actually planning on including it in this chapter, but that would make the chapter somewhere near 5k, and I don't think I'm ready to write that much for a single chapter yet. Besides, that there seemed like a perfect spot to end the chapter.


End file.
